Ryan Lochte: Lochtegate in the Rio Olympics

We had gone almost a full two weeks with the Olympics before there was any real scandal and of course it had to be the US to be behind it.  It irks me to no end that all of the accomplishments that these super-athletes are achieving has to be trumped by foolishness as the media has a frenzy over it. Last week it was reported that gold-medal swimmer Ryan Lochte and 3 of his Team USA swim mates were robbed at gun point at a gas station in Brazil.  The news of this incident made a lot of of the athletes want to grab their medals and get the heck out of dodge on account of Rio not being the safest place on the planet.  On Tuesday it was then reported that Ryan Lochte and the crew made it all up!  Not only did they make it all up but they vandalized the gas station while being under the influence!  Ryan Lochte skipped town just in time not to be detained for more questioning but the others of his team had their passports seized by officials until they were able to be questioned, which eventually led to the truth. Not a good look team USA, not a good look.

So I thought it was appropriate to take a closer look into who Ryan Lochte is (or who he thinks he is). It’s been a good four years since I really even remembered he was an olympian so this was a refresher for me.

The Jan Syndrome

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It all seems to boil down to what I would call the “Jan Syndrome”.  Michael Phelps is clearly the “Marsha” golden-child of the Team USA swim team, heck of the whole stinkin’ Rio games!  Michael fell in his personal life, but got back up and everyone accepted him back with open arms.  Not only did he get back up  but he came back stronger than ever with a cute baby in tow! Ryan has been living in Michael Phelp’s shadow for 3 olympics now and the only thing he can do is hope that Michael stays in retirement for the Japan Olympics in 2020.  Let’s just say Ryan is “acting out”.

The Grill Master

Sideline Socialite Olympics Ryan Lochte

Ugh.  Remember when grills were his “thing”.  For the London Olympics he was all about the grills.  He had these custom atrocities made for $25k with the help of famed rapper Paul Wall.  I was pleased to see that he left the grills at home for Rio.

The Short-Lived Reality TV Show

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I almost forgot about that one time he had a reality TV show.  The show did nothing but expose his um…lack of intelligence. The show highlighted his love for partying, picking up chicks, and all around “bro-ness”. If you didn’t watch the show you didn’t miss anything.  What you may have missed can be summed up in these Ryan quotes from the show.  The show only lasted one season, thank God!

The Party Boy

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Ryan likes to party…a lot.  Which…ok, I get it.  You are an athlete in the best physical shape of your life.  You are an Olympian and on top of the world.  The world is your Oyster.  But, you’re also 32.  I’m 32 and if anyone wants me to go out after 9 o’clock they are out of luck! If my glasses have been put on and my hair is in a top knot, then we are just going to have to rain check it for another day and earlier time, haha!  There was this one time recently though that I planned a birthday party for my bestie.  We went to a drag show that STARTED at 11PM.  But for my bestie I rallied and also took a good nap before we headed out.  Maybe Ryan takes naps.  He’s got to at 32.

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Bestie + Drag Show + Post Nap

The Olympian

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With all the negativity, I don’t want to discredit the fact that he is an amazing athlete and apart from Michael Phelps, Ryan Locate is the most winningest swimmer in American history with a whopping 12 medals! It’s a shame that he may be more remembered for tom-foolery than accolades.

Here’s more on the developments of the lie that is now being referred to as “Lochtegate”.


1 comment

  1. Ugh. You are so right. It's unfortunate! I knew when the media reported that the athletes didn't report the crime to the authorities right away, because they feared they would get in trouble, something wasn't right. Lochte is an embarrassment to the USA. He proves that you can be an Olympic medalist and yet be a loser at the same time. That was harsh.

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