Johnny Manziel or RG3 to the Cowboys

Rumors began swirling Sunday night that  Johnny Manziel or RG 3 should make their way to Dallas for a spot on “America’s Team” aka “We Dem Boyz” and whatever else you want to call them. This season, we watched Romo battle an injury only to come back and get injured again (maybe we should look for two QBs?!?). Since twitterverse and internet trolls couldn’t wait long enough for Black Monday (the Monday during which coaches and GMs get fired) we decided to take a look at who would fit better into Dallas culture (all skills set aside).

Johnny Manziel AKA Johnny Football: Very talented player known for partying and wearing wigs in Vegas.

Most Likely To Live: Jail CellUptown Dallas or the W Hotel and Residences. Johnny could seriously swing either way. He likes to party, which would make uptown a great choice in addition to all the single ladies who can be found there walking their precious pups in their LuLu pants. Johnny’s flashy side would make the W Hotel and Residences an equal choice. What more could he want: a sweet bachelor pad overlooking Dallas with enough space to have friends over?

Will Probably Be Found Eating: Twisted Root SMU BLVD. Everyone who is anybody eats at Twisted Root. Grab a burger, a beer and sit in the same booth that President George W. Bush has sat in. Don’t worry, it’s marked and has a chandelier over it, you cannot miss it.

Weekend Hotspot: Mutts Canine Cantina. Loves his pups. What better way to relax then taking your dog out for a play date.

Favorite Shopping Destination: Northpark Mall. Fancy stores, fancy people.

Favorite Dallas Tradition: Brunch. Everyone in Dallas brunches and if you don’t… then you can’t sit with us. Since Johnny Manziel will end up living in Victory Park or Uptown, his weekend brunch destination will be Public School #214. It’s an awesome school themed restaurant. Johnny will feel like PS #214’s valedictorian.

Why He Could Be A Cowboy: #1 He’s from Tyler, TX (close by), #2 the Cowboys are known for taking controversial players, #3 He’s Aggie and they come out in droves = $$$$$ = happy Jerry Jones.

 

RG3: Known for spiteful owners paying millions to keep him benched. Most likely to show up on a HGTV show. 

Most Likely To Live: Baylor MedicalYou have a kid and a wife? You’ll end up in Frisco. Build the house of your dreams in DFW’s fastest growing town. You can even build a garage big enough to house all your suburban toys like a Denali, pool toys and strollers.

Will Probably Be Found Eating: Mash’d Frisco, TX. You can still be cool by being spotted at this funky spot with a cocktail in your hand. Since everyone in Frisco has a baby, your kid can be screaming up a storm and no one will give you the side-eye.

Weekend Hotspot: Klyde Warren Park. Everyone loves Klyde Warren Park. Complete with a kid park, water features, board games, books, food trucks and performances Klyde Warren will be RGIII’s sanctuary.

Favorite Shopping Destination: Stonebriar Mall. Great for families and full of wonderful shopping. Here you can actually relax and shop with your wife and child.

Favorite Dallas Tradition: Church. We southerners go to church. Welcome back to the bible belt RG3. Choose from excellent churches across the region to join and fellowship with.

Why He Could Be A Cowboy: Baylor Bears love football and with Waco being so close to Dallas, Cowboy fans are itching to wear a RG3 jersey.

 

Now that we know where each might consider staying it’s ultimately in Jerry Jones’ hands. We all know he wanted Johnny but with RG3 as an option whats an owner to do?


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