READING

Fantasy Football in 6 Easy Steps= A Basic Game of ...

Fantasy Football in 6 Easy Steps= A Basic Game of Real Housewives

Well…another football season is upon us whether we were ready for it to take over our Sunday Facebook feeds or not, it’s here.  Not only are we having to hear about regular real people football, but more and more I am noticing people’s updates on their fantasy football teams.

Up until research for this post, I thought Fantasy Football was a bunch of nerds who get together on their gaming systems with their headsets on and create their own teams, players, and uniforms and then play xbox against other nerds that have done the same.  You know, sort of like, SIMS or Second life.  Turns out that’s not it at all. Below I will explain 6 steps to learning all you need to know about Fantasy Football so that you can sort of know what’s going on (should you have to deal with these Fantasy Footballers in the real world).  I have also taken the liberty of comparing it to something that is completely and totally relatable to us regular folk.  I find  comparing it to a Real Housewives “game” makes it all totally make sense/I think I really need to start a Real Housewives Fantasy game!  I would be rich!

[fan-tuh-see foo t-bawl]
noun
a competition in which participants select imaginary teams from among the players in a league and score points according to the actual performance of their players.

Step 1: Join A League
Some people are invited to join a private league within their office, or maybe your boyfriend’s college buddies are going to start one.  Other people join pubic leagues at their own free will which they can sign up for a spot simply by going online and doing so.  Some people play for fun, and others play for money. League selection is a BIG DEAL and each league has their own scoring system and roster set up.
<Real Housewives Comparison>
Our Scoring System:
[list style=”heart”]
[li]Eye Roll- 2 pts.[/li]
[li]Air Kiss- 1 pt.[/li]
[li]Shopping Spree- 3 pts.[/li]
[li]Talking Behind Someone’s Back- 5 pts.[/li]
[li]Consulting a Psychic/Spiritual Advisor- 1 pt.[/li]
[li]Househusband of Your Player Gets Involved- 3 pts.[/li]
[/list]

Step 2: Scout Players
This is when you do your research. Looking at stats, looking at injuries, looking at records, blah, blah, blah.  Fantasy Footballers have to be informed so that they know who to pick for the draft.  During this scouting processes is when they decide who they want their draft pics to be.  The goal of Fantasy Football is to get as many touch downs and gain as many yards as possible.  In our Real Housewives analogy let’s say that they goal is to get as many points from the scoring system above to win the “Championship”.  Each episode will be a “game” and the “Championship” will be the culmination of all of your points for each game.

Step 3: Build Your Team “The Draft” 
This is when the Fantasy Footballers get REALLY geeked out.  When you are in a league you are considered the team “owner”.  Each owner gets to pick 1 NFL player (like a real life player) one at a time until the roster is complete.
<Real Housewives Comparison>
Say you and your friends were going to play Fantasy RH. Remember that the goal is to pick “players” that you think will help you gain points from our little made-up scoring system (see step 1). And let’s also say that you have to have one housewife from each city “on the field” at all times. Since this is my blog, I am going to pick first and we get to pick one RH from each city to be on our “team”.  I am going to pick NeNe Leaks…the obvious first choice.

Photo Source: Straight From The A

Photo Source: Straight From The A

You my friend have the next pick and you may choose from any RH from any city.  Let’s say, for kicks, you choose Tamara judge from the Real Housewives of Orange County…well played my friend…  Now it’s my turn, then it’s your turn and so on. This continues until all Housewives have a team, and the roster is full.  In Fantasy Football each team picks 2-3 quarterbacks from real NFL quarterbacks (Like Tony Romo from the Dallas Cowboys), 4-5 running backs, 4-6 wide receivers, 0-2 tight ends, and 1-2 place kickers.  They additionally pick 1-2 team defenses. “The Draft” can happen online, but most people in private leagues will meet up in person and do a whole “thing” when picking players.  So, here are my “Starters”:

NeNe Leakes (RHWA)– Attitude for days, Queen of the Eye Roll

Lisa VanDerPump (RHWBH)– 100% British 100% Classy Broad

Photo Source: Bravo

Photo Source: Bravo

Gina Liano-RHWMelbourne)– Bronze goddess, lawyer, quick with the one-liners

Photo Source: Foxtel

Photo Source: Foxtel

Theresa Giudice (RHWNJ)– Scrappy, table flipping, Italian with a cookbook

Photo Source: Hulu

Photo Source: Hulu

Ramona Singer (RHWNYC)– Those eyes tho!

Photo Source: Giphy

Photo Source: Giphy

Heather Dubrow (RHWOC)– Extremely pretentious, has the power to insult others without them knowing they’ve been insulted, loves champagne

Photo Source: Bravo

Photo Source: Bravo

Step 4: Your Team vs. Another Team
Like in the NFL real teams play real teams (i.e.: The Texans vs. The Cowboys), and so it is in the fantasy world. The NFL player’s real time stats per game translate into Fantasy Football points by your league provider and the fantasy team that scores the most points wins the game for the week.
<Real Housewives Comparison>
Let’s say in the latest episode of RHOC, Heather Dubrow says something condescending to Tamara Judge and Tamara rolls her eyes, and then runs and tells Vicki G. what was said…that’s 2 eye roll points for you and 5 talking behind someone’s back points for you!  Whoever has the most points with our selected players that episode “wins” that “game”.

Step 5: You Are the Owner, You Call the Shots
Since you are the boss, you can drop players and replace them with free agents.  If a real life NFL player gets hurt and will be out of commission for a couple of games, then Fantasy Footballers can bench that player if they are on their team and start a healthy player.  You can even trade with other teams!
<Real Housewives Comparison>
NeNe might be out of commission for a couple of episodes due to recovering form her nose job.  If that’s the case I can get a pick that might be “benched” or I can even trade with you.  Say I have Kenya Moore from RHOA on my team, I would definitely get her off the bench  to pick up the slack from NeNe being our a couple episodes. Or If I wanted to trade, I would trade you NeNe, for one of your RHOA “players”.

Photo Source: Bravo

Photo Source: Bravo

Step 6: The Playoffs
At the end of the fantasy season, the top teams compete in a single-elimination tournament.  The last team standing may win a trophy, cash, and/or bragging rights.
<Real Housewives Comparison>
In this example we would have have go through a whole year of watching the Housewives in all their glory.  First we would add up all of the points that we have gotten from a season of one city after the season is over.  Then, after a year of RH goodness, we would add up all of the final points that you and I have for all of the RH cities and whomever has the most wins “the championship”.

Whew! I don’t know if this post was sufficient enough to explain how Fantasy Football works, but I, like for real, want to play Fantasy Real Housewives!  Who’s in?!


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

INSTAGRAM
CHECK OUT SS ON IG