New Year resolutions aren’t everyone’s cup of tea because, let’s be honest, who actually sticks to them all 365 days? Normally each year I resolve to have no resolution. I do have to admit, however, that when I started 2015 I resolved to not stare at my cell phone screen at bedtime and to just, IDK, go to bed and you know what? I came pretty darn close to sticking to that! Snaps for me! How am I spending my NYE this year? Watching the Rockets vs. Golden State Game, praying my fire-working neighbors don’t wake up my kid, and compiling this awesome list of 2016 New Year Resolutions of the NBA.
1. DeAndre Jordan (LA Clippers)- Resolves to not airball back-to-back free throws
I mean…seriously…DeAndre at the free throw line is a running joke amoungst commentators, every single time. I don’t get it. It’s the same distance on every court every time.
2. LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)- Resolves to LET IT GO
It’s time Bron. Let that hairline go. It’s gone. Just shave it off already. It will be freeing, I promise!
3. Kobe Bryant (LA Lakers)- Resolves to ride the gravy train ’til the wheels fall off
Father Time has finally caught up with Kobe. Now in his 20th season, and coming to the realization that he just ain’t got it anymore, this year will be his last in the NBA. I applaud him for knowing when to hold ’em, and when to fold ’em! I also applaud the Lakers marketing team for turning what is a HORRIBLE season for the Lakers and for Kobe into a “farewell tour/last chance to see Kobe Bryant on the court” spin which is single-handedly selling out arenas right and left.
4. Draymond Green (Golden State Warriors)- Resolves to be less of a mouth breather
Draymond’s permanent resting posture is mouth open, caveman style #sorrynotsorry I said it. Seriously google it. You are hard pressed to find a pic of his mouth not open.
5. Derrick Rose (Chicago Bulls)- Resolves to stay off the injured list
2015 was a toughie for Derrick Rose. In one year he had a torn right knee meniscus, an orbital fracture (giving him blurred sight, double vision, and one working eye ball), a left ankle sprain, and right hamstring tendonitis. Hopefully he won’t be so “fragile” in 2016.
